The Akasuki VS Dianey Land?
by Half-Blood wannabe
Summary: "That's it!" i screamed. we needed to get out of here. soon. the akatsuki has been hiding out in their under-ground base for 3 weeks. they need to get out. so they take a "vacation"... to Disney Land? the akatsuki in their most screwed up adventurer yet!


**Another random fic. As usual I do not own any thing ('cause if I did then, well, let's just say there would be way more rubber chickens and explosions. And also Sasuke wouldn't look like a creature you only see when you're high in his seal mode.). Well any way, ENJOY! **

**Akatsuki Vs. …… Disney Land ?**

**Chapter 1: Insanity and Tobi's idea **

(Pein's POV)

_Dear lord… _I thought to myself, as I sat at the head off our meeting table looking, no, more like _glaring, _at my so-called (evil) organization. I mean, honestly, you'd think that a group of 10 (well 11 'cause Zetsu counts for 2 people) S-ranked, Missing_ Ninja's _would act a little more maturely, for crying out loud!

You probably have no freaking clue what I'm talking about. Well here it is. At our supposed "meeting" everyone was going nuts. The Hidden Leaf had been on our case lately, so I recalled every member of the Akatsuki to our main base (which is under-ground). We haven't been out in three weeks now. So as you can except, even S-rank criminals, would go a little stir-crazy.

We were getting on each others case's now more than ever. Ok I admit, maybe calling for a meeting at this time was not the best idea. But, if we were to ever get out of this G-d forsaken hole, we needed a plan.

"Tobi, stop it, hm! Danna, tell Tobi to stop playing with my hair, yeah," Deidara whined to his master, Sasori.

"Do it yourself, brat," Sasori ground out through clenched teeth. See, even the ever cool-headed puppet master was losing his mind.

Hidan was humming way to loud and making Kakuzu's eye twitch. Zetsu was arguing with and trying to eat himself. While Kisame just kept staring at Itachi. You could practically feel the anger rolling off of him.

"Stop that infernal humming!" Kakuzu screamed, finally losing it.

Hidan stopped his humming for two seconds, took a long look at Kakuzu, then smirked and started humming even louder.

"Owe!" cried Zetsu. He had bitten himself. Smart, I know.

But the final straw was when _it_ happened. Zetsu was flailing his bitten hand around and knocked Hidan strait in to Kakuzu, who in turn, fell on to Itachi who fell into Kisame, who knocked into Tobi, who fell into Deidara, who fell onto Sasori, who, while falling, stretched his arm out, which hit Konan right in the face, in what is known as a B3*h slap.

That's when I lost it. "That's it!" I screamed, standing up and knocking over my chair. We needed to get out of here. Soon.

Every one was getting back up when they heard me yell. They all stared at me in shock. I slapped my hands down on the table, my gray rinnegan eyes raking them all. "Now I know that we've been down here a long time," I said lowering my voice, "But we have to keep our cool."

"Pein," Konan spoke up and I looked at her, "I think maybe we've been down here a _bit_ too long. We need to figure something out."

"I agree. Now let's all regain our composer and start this meeting over. Understood?"

"Yes sir," the all said in union.

They picked up all the chairs, put them (the chairs) back where they were, and sat down.

"Ok, now let's figure something out people," I said.

"I notion that we just blow them all up, hm," said Diedara, absent mindedly twirling a piece of his long hair between his fingers.

"Well that could work but, we might accidently blow up the jinjuriki," I answered, resting my head in my hand.

"Hmpf!" he snorted leaning back in his chair, folding his arm across his chest.

We had silence for a few moments. I closed my eyes and sighed.

But the silence didn't last long. "Oh, oh! Leader-Sama! Tobi has an idea!" Tobi shouted, bolting upright, right onto his feet, slamming his hands agents the table. Making it shudder, shaking my arm, and therefore my head as well. _Wow, Tobi had an idea. That's new. _I thought to myself, but I did not show it on the outside. I merely scrunched my eye-brows and let out an agitated breath through my nose.

"Fine," I sighed, getting ready for the worst, "get on with it."

"Tobi thinks we should take a Vacation!" he said cheerfully.

One of my eyes popped open and I just stared at him. Just like every one else was, shocked. They looked from him to me, waiting for my reaction. I considered this. And you know what? It was actually a pretty good idea. Weird. We could set up some shadow doppelgangers, let them lose out side the base to distract the leaf ninjas, then slip out quietly, finally getting us some long over due freedom/sanity.

"Fine" I stated quietly.

"Aww… but Pein-Sama I thought-," but he cut his sentence short when my words (finally) registered. Actually, only then did every one register what I had said. They all looked quizzically at me. I explained my plan to them. And after some persuading (some did not want to go, others just thought it was too expensive * cough Kakuzu cough*) they all agreed.

"So Tobi was useful? Tobi is a good boy?"

"Yes. Tobi you are a very good boy." I answered him, "But now there is the issue of where we should go. Every one write one place down on a piece of paper. Then I will put them in a container and choose one at random."

Minuets later, every one had written their choice down and I had put them in my emptied kunai pouch. I reached my hand in to move them around in the pouch to make sure they were all scrambled.

"Ok….," I mumbled as I reached into the pouch to pick one out. You could practically hear the eerie music in the background as someone's sweat hit the floor with a soft _splash_. If we weren't ninjas I doubt we would have heard it.

Slowly, I drew my hand out holding a folded piece of paper. I unfolded it and was dumbstruck at what I saw.

Sasori noticed my distressed facial expression and asked, "What's wrong Pein-Sama?"

I groaned as I read it aloud, "The place I picked (at random mind you) is…. Disney Land."

Silence. For about two moments. Then utter chaos erupted. "WHAT!" they all screamed in union. Deidara tackled Tobi to the ground.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he screamed in his face. Tobi was utterly shocked.

"It wasn't Tobi! Tobi wanted to go camping!" Tobi stuttered, trying to break free of his Senpai's death grip on his shoulders.

Now it was our turn to be shocked. If it wasn't Tobi, then who…… we all looked at each other trying to figure it who.

"I guess… were going to Disney Land then," I said.

"Pardon?" Itachi asked.

"Well, I said the one I choose is the one were going to. It would not be fair to the person who wanted to go _there_ if we went some where else."

"So were really going to Disney?" Kisame asked.

"Yes."

"Jashin-Sama, save me…" Hidan groaned.

"let's prepare." I said, clapping my hands, "Kakuzu find a deal on some rooms at the Disney resort. Every one else make a doppelganger and pack you things. We leave at dawn,"

"Yes sir," they mumbled.

"Alright. Dismissed." They shuffled out of the room mumbling. But I bet you they were thinking the same thing I was. Who, in their right mind, wanted to go to Disney?

**That was the first chapter folks! Please tell me what you think! Constitutive criticism is always welcome! **


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